The National Shablastdatsass League
555-5785 toll free: 1-000-111-0101
The National Shablastdatsass League

The National Shablastdatass League's origins date to the summer of 2001, when one gentleman—clad only in a loosely fitted t-shirt with no shorts beneath—navigated treacherous river rapids on an inflatable raft. He encountered another battling the same turbulent waters, squeezed into a wetsuit so tight it split his balls in two, creating a ferocious moose knuckle that defied both gravity and good taste.
In a breathtaking display of audacious heroism and raw survival instinct, the first man—facing certain doom in the roaring whitewater—executed a death-defying maneuver, steering his battered raft through churning waves and jagged rocks to pull alongside the second. With gladiatorial strength and tactical precision, he leapt aboard in one epic bound, forging an unbreakable pact of life-or-death brotherhood and strategic defiance against the merciless river's fury.
News of this daring merger spread swiftly. One by one, additional adventurers—drawn by reports of the growing flotilla—joined the craft, each boarding in turn as the group expanded.
The assembly grew relentlessly: a third, fourth, fifth, and onward, until—much like a contemporary Noah's Ark amid the rapids—exactly twelve resolute individuals had united, forming the unbreakable foundation of the NSL.
From this improbable river convergence emerged one of fantasy sports' most enduring institutions, built on camaraderie, calculated risk, and the relentless pursuit of Ole Gloriousness.

We live and breathe our values every single day. It's in our DNA, hard-coded into everything we do—the core of our existence here. We're all about living those values, letting them guide us constantly, because that's what makes us us. We don't just talk about it—we live it, morning, noon, and night. It's embedded, ingrained, the heartbeat of everything. Living the values—that's our reality, day in and day out, because nothing else matters quite like upholding those values we hold so dear. It's just values. All day. Every day. Living them. Breathing them.
Copyright © 2025 NSL Global Holdings. All Rights Reserved.
The NSL, NSLHPS, OG, Pan, Pan’s Gala, and YourMomOnRye are registered trademarks of NSL Global Holdings and the National Shablastdatass League, Corp. Any unauthorized use of these marks, or the likeness of Pan, OG, or the Gala, is strictly prohibited under international intellectual property statutes. Selection for pre-application does not guarantee entry.
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.